Everything dint quite work out well. Been going out a lot lately, mixing with friends and talking bout' inconsequential, and even lying to myself that i may had have forgotten somethings. Telling myself over and over again that im having such an independent and a free lifestyle in which i could go out whenever i want, mix with whom i cherish and spending times with my best buddies. But hold on a sec,put a full stop to everything when one fine day as i stood looking at my reflection. Then i realized something in which i should have realized a very long time ago. 

The whole happy moments with friends and outings are more and more opportunities to lie to myself, no? In which deep deep down, what i really do feel.. are sorrows. Passers by who took a glimpse, would think that i have obtained something very special for being so delighted, but true friends look into the eyes and they would surely sense the pain. Though the pain wont be as hurtful as what I am feeling. But seriously. Is it even worth it? I have never been manipulated and drawn into this state of existence.

 Why now? Why you? Coming to think of it, its real stupid. Which i am sitting here thinking about the past, and you , moving on with some other girl i guess. My blog is seriously getting dull every single day with the old familiar stories which i will put a full stop soon. New resolution? yes. shhhh* And you will get the last tear

To anonymous,

Though you wont be reading this, i am truly sorry for what may had happened. It was an unpredictable event, and neither you or I noticed it coming and turning into an obstacle. I know you don't like it but neither do I, as it is hurtful as much as it hurts you. But, fate united us together and yet fate had brought us back here today. I'll still love you, though its not appropriate, but i really need you to say that you will let me go.. Things are going complicated in a way, and you know it. I don't want you to keep lying to yourself either. Its not about finding someone else, or the spark faded. There were a few misunderstandings that occurred, no? I don't want any replica-like of that event that took placed onced ago to happen again and im sure you do know what i am trying to imply on. fragile much? I do hope that you will recover and do find a girl that is suitable, a better girl that will love you and understand you always. Lastly, i will always love you =)

amour,amelia.